grandmamaid would never have made something this green

last night my cousins and i spent a couple hours reading my grandmother’s old love letters.  she saved everything every suitor (because that’s what they were called back then) ever said to her.  or maybe she didn’t and she was even more popular than we will ever know.  regardless, we came across a stack of letters from her and addressed to her first husband (our grandfather). at the top of each letter she included her current body weight.  131. 125. 128.  always her weight in the top right corner as if it bore some significance to the correspondence between young lovers.  maybe it did.  who am i to judge?

***

so, this post is a shout-out to all the super fit people in the world who make green shakes on a regular basis.  i’m sure it gets easier with time, but seriously?  that’s a lot of work for something you drink. i can’t bitch too much because it seems it might pay off considering i did an hour of intense circuit training (including over 50 push-ups…woot woot…i’m a machine) followed up by and hour long run today and sustained myself on this shake (until a dinner made entirely of veggies and egg whites).

i’ll share the recipe (adapted from zeus of course), but devote some serious time to this little friend the first time around:

Green stuff (yield: lots of cups of green stuff)

1/2 bunch of kale
Green banana
Small apple
½ avocado
Coconut*
2 stalks celery
Packet of freeze-dried greens
Water

Blend everything except the water in a blender or food processor.  Add water to get the consistency you want to drink.  Done…

*How the hell do you crack open a bloody coconut?!  Good question.  Here’s my favorite way.  Drill two of the eyes out with a corkscrew.  Pour coconut water out of one of the holes and into the above ingredients.  Hold the coconut firmly and whack it onto the counter along the equator (the line that wraps around the center).  Depending on how many push-ups Zeus made you do that day you should be able to break it in half in a couple thwacks.

Footnote to all you trainers/really fit people who make their own variation, please feel free to share with me.  Sharing makes me giddy.

Boot camp with Zeus

I was about to post a cute little recap about the first four days of the New Year.  You know, all those little Darla insights about the weird things she’s been spending her time doing, but…

…then I realized that Sammy and I are one week out from our S&S photoshoot and I panicked.  And as every 30 year old woman does at a moment of panic, I called my personal trainer (who now has a website so you can see how super cute he is).  Duh.  I informed him I need a militant training/nutrition regimen for the next week in order to glow in these photos (good news is that I’ve been told lately that I’ve been glowing anyway – phew, that’s a good start).  Want to know the rules?  Good, ’cause I want to share them.

1. No alcohol.  Did you hear that?  No alcohol.  It’s me for god’s sake.  What is Darla without a little booze?  I guess those of you who see me this next week will find out soon enough.  And I have to apologize to anyone who was expecting me to throw some back with you – perhaps we should postpone until after the 13th.
2. No food after 8 pm.  Who eats dinner before 8 pm?!
3. Very little to no salt.  Oh, that’s fine.  It’s only my favorite ingredient in the WORLD.
4. No cheese.  No dried fruit.  No peanut butter.
5. The food plan is too ridiculous to lay out in detail now because I will most likely jinx myself and not stick to it.  So, in the interest of toning my body to it’s absolute limits in one week I’ll just give the basics.  It looks something like this: green shake for breakfast, salad with animal protein for lunch and steamed veggies for dinner.  It’s starting to sound suspiciously similar to my week in Bangalore.
6. The training consists of turning my regularly tough Zeus sessions into killer circuit hours.  My first one is tomorrow morning (I’ll let you know how I fare).  Also adding an hour of running onto the end of said killer circuit hour.  And on the “off” days, doing 30 minutes of sprints followed by 60 minutes of regular old running.  Add core onto each day and I have myself a week.
This plan makes eating, partying and dating difficult and, well, what else is there?

favorite hobby number two

it actually may not be number two…maybe it’s number seven…or number one.  i change my mind too frequently to keep any kind of actual list.  that would take will power and i am in short short supply of will power.

10 best hobbies on the planet (in no particular order):

\snowboarding. this actually probably is number one because strapping on my board and ducking a rope in mineral basin off snowbird’s backside is my idea of heaven.  if you followed that then you know what i’m talking about.

\first dates.  i can’t help it.  i’m a serial first dater.

\oversharing. can i use the same excuse again?  sure, why not?  i can’t help it.  I’m a serial oversharer.

\changing my mind.  nothing quite so refreshing than a good change in career (10 years of law firm hell – bye!  i’ll miss you!),  location move (in 30 years i’ve called 17 different places home), engagement ending (um…yeah), or switch in major (fine art, photography, nursing, business, midwifery, journalism).

\cooking.  i have this theory that you put your energy into food when you prepare it.  since i’m normally skipping around at an 8.8 out of 10 i would venture to say that there is a whole lot of goodness pumped into my food.  if you doubt me, shoot me an email and i’ll invite you over for some edible proof.

\working out.  do i really need to pimp out my trainer anymore than i already do?  everyone and their mother knows that i love zeus.  no seriously, i just spent a lunch with my mom today telling her all about how much love him.

\writing.  duh

\traveling.  scandanavia at 18 (thanks roland). numerous u.s. road trips including philly to virginia beach (on a semi-regular basis – a girl needs her accupuncture yo), philly to new orleans (5 am hurricane’s at pat o’s aren’t going to drink themselves), philly to vermont (only in winter and only before this girl smartend up and moved to utah), philly to utah (beers in cornfields across the country isn’t a bad way to spend two weeks), pch (thank you bff in san diego and sister in san fran). turkey at 28 (thanks ahmet). dubai/oman/india at 29 (‘nuf said).

\being a +1 at a wedding.  you mean i get to dress up and spend a couple hours drinking, dancing and meeting a room full of people i don’t know?!  what’s the catch?  this is too good to be true.

\camping and surfing.  this is a two for one deal because i don’t do either on a regular enough basis to call them actual hobbies.  i haven’t camped in over a year although i used to do it a lot while living in utah (if you are a camper and you might want a camping buddy point me to the online application).  i surfed for a good month in hawaii this summer.  i kicked some ass and then the ocean kicked back harder (ask my left elbow joint who won that fight).

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